The Hounds of the Morrigan script in two minutes!  

Ready, set, go!

Macha:  We're evil and we have dogs!
Bodbh:  Tee hee!
Pidge:  I want this book!
Bookseller:  You can't have it!
(BANG BANG BANG!)
Bookseller:  You can have it!
Pidge:  Yay!
Macha:  He's got the book!  Now let's kidnap him!
Bodbh:  Tee hee!
Old Angler:  Careful!  They're going to kidnap you!
Macha:  Darn!  We've been found out!
Bodbh:  Tee hee!
Sign:  I'm a sign!  Spin me!  Whee!  Now go home!
Brigit:  I'm five!
Pidge:  I know!
Auntie Bina:  Drink your tea!  Aliens made it!
Olc Glas:  I'm in your book!
Pidge:  Oh no!  Olc Glas is in my book!
Dagda:  Quick!  Put it in an iron pot!
Olc Glas:  NooOOOOoooooOoooo!
Pidge:  Ha!  Olc Glas is in an iron pot!
Macha:  Drat!  He figured out how to stop us from getting Olc Glas!
Bodbh:  Tee hee!
Brigit:  I like mushrooms!
Pidge:  Don't eat the purple ones!
Old Mossie Flynn:  I'm keeping two English ladies in my glasshouse!
Macha:  We're witches!
Bodbh:  Tee hee!
Auntie Bina:  Who wants roast hen?
Fowler:  Hello kids!  Sell me Olc-Glas!
Brigit:  No!  I'm clever and hilarious!
Fowler:  Argh!  I've been defeated by your clever and hilarious nature!
Tom:  Here, have a case and a pin!
Pidge:  Yay!  Now I can carry the embodiment of evil in my pocket!
Brigit:  Yay!  Now I can put up my hair!
Boodie:  Pancakes!
Patsy:  OH MY GOD WE'RE OUT OF SPRING WATER!
Pidge:  I'll get some!
Eel:  I'm taking Olc-Glas!
Pidge:  I'm confused by the plot!
Brigit:  Oh no!  The hounds are coming to eat us!
Swans:  Here we come to save the day!
Hounds:  Oh no!  We've been defeated by swans!
Macha:  We're not really surprised!
Bodbh:  Tee hee!
Hounds:  Let's discuss our plans where the kids can hear us!
Pidge:  Gasp!  Plot development!
Macha:  Oh look, there's the boy again!  Should we kidnap him?  
Bodbh:  Heck no, this is MY motorcycle and I'M driving, I say we RUN HIM OVER!
(SCREEECH!)
Macha:  You missed!
Bodbh:  Tee hee!
Brigit:  You're stupid!
Macha:  Foiled again!
(VRRRRROOOM)
Frog:  I'm a bulldog!
Brigit:  You're stupid!  But cute!
Macha:  KILL THE FROG!
Bodbh:  Tee hee!
Brigit:  No!  I'll defeat you with a clever homonym!
Macha:  Argh!  We've been defeated homonymously!
Bodbh:  Tee hee!
Frog:  You rescued me!  I'll be loyal to you forever!
Brigit:  Really?
Frog:  No.
(SPLASH!)
Sergeant:  I'm drunk and I'm going to bug you randomly and then fall in love with the Morrigan!
Macha:  No.
(SPLASH!)
Eel:  I'm hungry!
Breac:  NOOOooooOoooOooo
Frog:  Random ballet!
Breac:  I'm saved!
Horse:  I'm the Morrigan and I have your father under a malicious love spell!
Pidge:  Oh no!  It's the Morrigan!
Morrigan:  I am no longer a horse!
Pidge:  Oh no!  It's the Morrigan!
Angler:  You're characters in an adventure book!
Brigit:  Well, as long as there's no dragons, I'm fine.  Now I'm going to kiss this ass's face!
Serena:  That sounds hilarious nowadays!
Pidge:  We're from the 50's!
Serena:  I know!
Angler:  Go back in time!  Back when saying "ass" was perfectly acceptable!
Pidge:  Whee!
Brigit:  Whee!  But more importantly, chocolate!
Cathbad:  Follow the leader!  
Maines:  We're heads!  Here, have some spitseeds!
Morrigan:  Abuse Fowler!
Fowler:  Ow!  I feel abused!
Pidge:  Run from the hounds!  No wait!  Don't run from the hounds!
Brigit:  Let's ride a kite!
Pidge:  Whee!
Brigit:  Whee!
Macha:  We're gambling with people's lives!
Bodbh:  Tee hee!
Morrigan:  Let's cheat!
Pidge:  Look!  Pears!
Brigit:  Gross!  Maggots!
Morrigan:  LOL!
Fowler:  Our job sucks!
Hounds:  Agreed!  Now shut up!
Daire:  We're rabbits!
Finn:  Come eat carrots!
Pidge:  No one's going to remember in the end that I planted these seeds here!
Daire:  Prophecy!
Brigit:  Yay prophecy!
Finn:  Run like the wind!
Pidge:  Whee!
Brigit:  Whee!
Napoleon:  I eez eelariouz!
Hannah:  I'm gracefully obese!
Corny:  I'm a streaker!
Fowler:  My life sucks!
Hounds:  WE KNOW!  NOW SHUT UP!!!
Morrigan:  Trap the children in the castle!
Cluas:  There is no castle!
Morrigan:  Drat!  He figured it out!
Key lady zombie:  BRAINS!
Dwarf man zombie:  BRAINS!
(SHAAACRASH!)
Brigit:  Hooray!  We're out of the castle!
Macha:  Burn the bridge!
Mawleogs:  Ride a moose!
Elk:  I'm an elk!
Scientist:  Actually, you're a type of extinct giant deer called a megaceros.
Needlenose:  I'm not particularly important to the plot!
Cooroo:  I'm adorable!
Pidge:  You ate our chickens!
Cooroo:  They were delicious!
Morrigan:  Crap!  The Dagda made me spill snow all over the place!
Pidge:  We're okay!
Brigit:  Snow is fun!
Morrigan:  ARRRRGH!
Fowler:  My nose is froze!  And my ears is froze!  And my toes is froze!  And my tail is froze!
Hounds:  SHUT UPPPP
Cooroo:  Snow kills!
Elk:  I'll rescue you!
Sonny:  You control your fate!
Pidge:  Really?
Sonny:  Sort of.
Duck Lady:  I'm really Queen Maeve.  I'm just frumpin' right now.
Dempsey:  Hypotenuse!
Ducks:  LOLOLOLOL
BailenagCeard:  I can't pronounce me!
Strawboy:  Take candy from strangers, kids!
Cooroo:  SNAUSAGES,SNAUSAGES,SNAUSAGES,SNAUSAGES,snausages,snasuages....
Patsy:  We're gods!
Boodie:  We're your other selves!
Patsy:  Sort of!
Boodie:  In an abstract sort of way!
Glomach:  GET IN MAH BELLY!
Brigit:  No!  Eat arrow!
Glomach:  ARGH ARROWS KILL!
Everyone:  MORTAL KOMBAT TIME!
Cathbad:  This way kids!  You're too young for this scene!
Pidge:  We got the pebble we forgot to mention in the beginning!
Brigit:  That's kind of what this whole story was about!
Morrigan:  PEBBLE!!
Pidge:  Now we're running from the hounds!
Brigit:  Oh no!  They can eat us now!
Morrigan:  CLEVER FINGERPRINT MAZE!
Jim Henson:  GENIUS!
Radairc:  Hello, I'm Radairc, I'll be your exit sign this evening!
Pidge:  We're in a hole now!
Brigit:  Oh no!  We're trapped!
Eel:  I'm being helpful!  Here, have Olc-Glas!
Pidge:  I wasn't given any clue what to do, but maybe if I randomly cry on this pebble something will happen!
Olc-Glas:  ARGH TEARS KILL!
Morrigan:  NOOOoooOooOooOOOOOOooo!!!
Brigit:  We won!
Pidge:  Ooh!  Look!  Eye candy!
Cathbad:  Congratulations!  Now I'm going to make you forget everything that happened.  Goodbye!
Pidge:  Huh?
Brigit:  Huh?